Frustration

   This world can be very  harsh.  Things are very difficult for me right now.  I know that it isn't easy to know who's on your side and who's not.  Today's world can make you into a really disgusted individual.  Like others will pretend to be your friend but in the meantime behind your back, all they do is stab you.  So this thing is really frustrating to me as a beginner and we're supposed to figure it all out for ourselves.  I hate when people do that to me.  And I don't know where to go from here.  I am just feeling unable to handle this with everything else that is going wrong in my life.  I can't keep up with everything all the time.  Things are so expected and you don't know what is actually being expected of you.  Until you fail and then it's too late.  I should be learning from my mistakes, but they seem to repeat themselves in my life.  It is  a vicious cycle where I feel in a state of confusion and it just gets worse from there.  Some times I get so frustrated when everyone plays that they are better than you and knows all too well how to leave you holding the bag.  I am not able to deal with that over and over again.  It's not my cup of tea.  I hate those kinds of attitudes.  It just leaves you angry and frustrated about the world.  Which I am right now.