Redefining Self

   I am going to school to redefine myself.  I thought I was doing this for myself, but now I realize I'm doing it because in this society we need to keep up with the speed at which the world runs, in order to make a way to be ourselves and stay in flight.  Otherwise, we get sorely let down because the world does not accept us for who and what we actually are.  We are all in a fantasy world that keeps on tricking us into letting us down further and further down the tightrope.  I feel like I'm a tightrope walker, unable to break free of the spinning wheel that has me attached and is going around and around in circles with me on it, just like the mice do, running but to no end.   When does all this situation become the reality that I heard of as a younger person.  What I have discovered is that they expect me to live up to expectations but they are not living up to mine.  So who do I have to prove this to?  When all around me I see things being low on the totem pole, meanwhile unable to live up to my expectations but getting over in a big way.  Now I have lost things to thieves and things never get to the point where I want to live that way, yet I am being forced to put up with things this way, because there seems to be no way around it.  How come some people come out on top while others have to bite the dust??   We are not that different under the skin, but somehow this society and the people in it are professional markers, they mark you for who you are and they mark you for whom you're not.  I can't please every body so I'll just have to please myself.