So it's the end of the semester, and oh so many things to do. I wish I were finished already, I can't wait until finals are over. Everyone is working feverishly it seems and I'm tired, been up all week until the wee hours. Things aren't like they used to be. With everyone getting older and going their different ways, it's hard to keep a family on the same page. Mine are going in all kinds of directions. I liked it a little better when they were younger, things were easier to deal with. Now I don't feel like there is a family for real. I'm just on the outskirts looking in. It' s not a good condition when everywhere you go to try to get supports shoves it back at you. It seems like this world is filled with people with all kinds of preconceived notions who don't really want to hear your issues. They'd just as soon as turn you off and drop you out of their minds. They are in total control and I'm getting tired of the lack of respect that others throw my way. It's totally against my grain and I feel pretty sick of all the boxes I'm supposed to be shoved into and come out of unscathed. It doesn't play well in my own scheme of things. I'm tired of having to answer to teachers who don't really care whether I make it through this experience or not. Or who would rather be with their families and see me as an extraneous bag of trash. It' s just about the most belittling experiences I've been having over the last several years trying to get college degrees and still unable to get and hold a half way decent job. I'm tired of the maniana's, if I had a dollar for every time I got told next time, I would be doing alright. As it is, I'm tired of being the poor one and getting poorer. It's not working out in my mind at all, and I'm tired of being treated like the fool. I didn't know I was made out of gorgonzola cheese.
