This world can be very harsh. Things are very difficult for me right now. I know that it isn't easy to know who's on your side and who's not. Today's world can make you into a really disgusted individual. Like others will pretend to be your friend but in the meantime behind your back, all they do is stab you. So this thing is really frustrating to me as a beginner and we're supposed to figure it all out for ourselves. I hate when people do that to me. And I don't know where to go from here. I am just feeling unable to handle this with everything else that is going wrong in my life. I can't keep up with everything all the time. Things are so expected and you don't know what is actually being expected of you. Until you fail and then it's too late. I should be learning from my mistakes, but they seem to repeat themselves in my life. It is a vicious cycle where I feel in a state of confusion and it just gets worse from there. Some times I get so frustrated when everyone plays that they are better than you and knows all too well how to leave you holding the bag. I am not able to deal with that over and over again. It's not my cup of tea. I hate those kinds of attitudes. It just leaves you angry and frustrated about the world. Which I am right now.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
When you are looking for help
Whenever I get into a situation that I don't think I can handle, somebody invariably has to say, 'you're strong; or you're a survivor, I know you will find somehow to handle it.' I hate when they say that. It always puts me on a run for a way to close up the hole. But I never really get out of the hole. It's some way they always seem to be able to put the problem back into my lap, They always win, and you always lose. It's like dealing with a salesman, They are always out to get their hands on your money, one way or another. And they seem to do a really good job of it. But I'm tired of being the one who is always out of the money. It isn't working out for me and doesn't do me a whole lot of beneficial things. Just more debt over my head. And at this point, I can't find the innovative approach to getting out from under the financial burdens which are surrounding my life. It's always just out there, just beyond your reach.
And today they're doing a similar thing with the budget cuts to SUNY. I think it is an every day occurrence that they cut out the important programs to feed something that they feel compassionate about. Meanwhile not everyone shares the same passions. So they didn't ask me if I thought it was a good idea to cut school budgets and make sure I don't get on college work study. Or that I haven't been able to find employment for the longest. And all those applications that want me to justify my time spent unemployed. What should I say to them? That it's because you lovely people don't think I am competent enough to work in your empty shell of a stress-er game, where I go home absolutely exhausted from all the demands being made on me throughout my workday? I just don't know what to say. And in today's world, presentation counts for a whole lot. That seems to be what everyone is pounding into our heads. I just feel like I'm up against a piece of negativity day in and day out. And that my priorities turn to dust. They get devoured by the needs of the masses which I am surrounded by on a daily basis. It's not a fun condition but a stressful one.
And today they're doing a similar thing with the budget cuts to SUNY. I think it is an every day occurrence that they cut out the important programs to feed something that they feel compassionate about. Meanwhile not everyone shares the same passions. So they didn't ask me if I thought it was a good idea to cut school budgets and make sure I don't get on college work study. Or that I haven't been able to find employment for the longest. And all those applications that want me to justify my time spent unemployed. What should I say to them? That it's because you lovely people don't think I am competent enough to work in your empty shell of a stress-er game, where I go home absolutely exhausted from all the demands being made on me throughout my workday? I just don't know what to say. And in today's world, presentation counts for a whole lot. That seems to be what everyone is pounding into our heads. I just feel like I'm up against a piece of negativity day in and day out. And that my priorities turn to dust. They get devoured by the needs of the masses which I am surrounded by on a daily basis. It's not a fun condition but a stressful one.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
This world is amazing
This world is amazingly crazy, and the things that happen in it are nuts. Like the police running after protesters at the take over wall street rally. They started running and so did the cops. Like macing people in the street. It shows just how low things can go. I don't like knowing that we have no safety net for the things we believe in. I like the comment someone made that if you are out of work you should be at the rally. It just doesn't make any sense that some people get it all and the rest of us just have to suffer here, and wait until someone lets us in. It's been that way for the longest time. And either this country is at war, or they're in an economic crisis, or both. So when do we stop going around on the merry-go-round like this? They say that this is the best country to live it. I don't suppose it is. Not at this rate. I think they really need to go after big business and expose what has been going on for time millennium. I also wish that Ralph Nader was back on radar, when we need him the most. I here talk about him running for President, that would be a good idea as far as I'm concerned. Since we put so many hopes into Obama only to come up empty handed. It's extremely frustrating to live under the guise of these politicians who think that they've done their job once they've filled their pocketbooks. Well it doesn't end there.
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