This doesn' t feel like Christmas

  To me Christmas if merriment.  But I'm not feeling too merry this year.  Everyone has separated and gone their own ways and there is nothing left for an old mother to do without any impetus to get going and get things that people don't seem to appreciate in the first place.  I wish there were things that I could do that would turn out right.  Well, since no one seems to have money this year it is a dismal prospect.  Every one seems to not want to be expected to gift each other so I'm up for that if every one else is.  I didn't plan ahead like I've done in previous years and this year I can't seem to plan too well ahead on anything.  I even haven't found a new place to move to yet and I have less than a month to get everything planned and done with.  It is feeling like an almost impossible task.  And this is the first time that I looked up housing on craigslist and didn't find anything in this area.  It's unbelievable, speak of a housing crisis.  This world is going to the birds, if you ask me.  I wanted so much to be able to make this a happy Christmas for the whole family, since every one is having their own issues.  But it doesn't seem to be panning out.  I have all I can handle with my own problems this year.  And now that the school semester is winding down, I am also not feeling too happy about what I accomplished this semester so far.  It's frustrating to say the least.  I can't seem to run along side of every one.  I am just trekking and trying to stay afloat.  I don't know what put me in this kind of mood this year, but I'm having an all too difficult time of shaking myself out of it.  Even by listening to all that Christmas music on light FM.  Well any way I hope that by the time December 25 rolls around I've accomplished something towards the holidays.