Sometimes I feel so alone in my feelings and opinions. Like I have a nerve having my beliefs. Sometimes my own children make me feel that way. Like when they look at me as if I'm over the hill and have all kinds of old fashioned ideas, which I don't see as really being the truth. I think that there are all kinds of bigotry thrown in on people's thoughts. And sometimes it is very hard to break through that hard expectation, and hard shell. I often probe into things but you get all kind of mixed messages. I wonder if there is anything that will make the world really change. People have such staid ideas about life that it feels like change is something that gets stretched out over a long time period, and I don't have that much time to wait for the good to come about. People have very little patience with things as it seems that we are a mechanized society. What I've noticed is that the young people want every electronic device as if that's what's going to hold their interest and that is the only way they know how to communicate. When the computer first came into our house, my son was on it for the longest times playing video games, and you couldn't get him off the computer. It affected his communication level with the family and everyone else for that matter. I have had a difficult time getting to communicate with him ever since. It seems like I've lost a son. And they say that when your son starts seeing a girl, you lose him to her family. That almost happened with my eldest,but she finally broke it off and broke his heart instead.
Life can throw people such loops and along the way you are supposed to come up with a mode for survival. It isn't an easy thing to do. I hate when people say, you're a survivor, you'll find a way. You know that when they say that you're up for no input at all. They just run you around by the nose some more and bide their time because they have no foreseeable solution to your issue. That's when I really hate the way things are going. It's like you stay down there, and I'll stay up here, looking down at you makes me comfortable, so you should stay that way. I don't like it when people put me into a category when they don't understand me and don't know where I'm coming from. It seems that everyone wants to belittle you, because they look at someone and all of a sudden you get categorized. It irks me to know that when you give to others they get even less giving than before, and think that they shouldn't reimburse you in any way for your output. Things are never on an even keel, when they have, they aren't willing to share, but when you have, they are very willing to share in the take.
The cutting out that others practice is not only hurtful but can be very damaging, as can be verified by the number of people who are being bullied and winding up committing suicide. There is a lot of that in schools, and around the workplace, it's a horrifying nightmare that has put me at the receiving end too many times for me to count. It's not something that someone asks for, but they get it nonetheless. While others are carelessly going about their tasks of taking you for granted, you can stay in suffering mode on and on and it doesn't stop there. When will people realize that enough is enough? The world doesn't hold certain individuals in high regard. And I hate meeting up with the sludge on the bottom. Never getting the position that I wanted, or not being able to measure up to the social games people play. Even all the ruckus about Lady Gaga, apparently she doesn't tell the truth about her past. She says that she was an outcast but according to what I've been hearing she was very popular in school as well. So people will say anything to give themselves the kind of image that they are vying for. I don't believe a lot of what goes on with people. I find it very frustrating because of the way you dress or hold yourself physically you are already tagged as a beggar, or what have you. That holds true for job interviews. People talk about making it from zero to 50 but I can't seem to break the first interview. And they keep telling me you have to do this and you have to do that. But I'm me and I can't see being made over by anyone, even everyone tries to do that. It just makes you feel more antagonized by their judgements which are made on you Or should I say misjudgements. I think it is very self centered the way some of the musicians and singers have taken control of our lives and made names for themselves at the expense of others. I think that is a strange phenomenon in our culture,and I don't like always being measured by one thing and another. It's not me and I don't want to be forced to live up to something that isn't giving me any personal benefit.
But it's true that I have been dragged through the mud repeatedly and not given air to come back up with. I don't want to lay on the ground with dogs, but it seems that only the beasts of the world are able to write their own tickets. They just keep on doing it to the rest of us, and we just keep on having to accept what they are dishing out and take it all in. I'm tired of swallowing things that I can't swallow, but they find me any way. It's been a long hard road and I'm not out of the dark yet. It's a frustrating way to live, always being tagged for one thing or another, and it seems to give them great pleasure to boot.
Life can throw people such loops and along the way you are supposed to come up with a mode for survival. It isn't an easy thing to do. I hate when people say, you're a survivor, you'll find a way. You know that when they say that you're up for no input at all. They just run you around by the nose some more and bide their time because they have no foreseeable solution to your issue. That's when I really hate the way things are going. It's like you stay down there, and I'll stay up here, looking down at you makes me comfortable, so you should stay that way. I don't like it when people put me into a category when they don't understand me and don't know where I'm coming from. It seems that everyone wants to belittle you, because they look at someone and all of a sudden you get categorized. It irks me to know that when you give to others they get even less giving than before, and think that they shouldn't reimburse you in any way for your output. Things are never on an even keel, when they have, they aren't willing to share, but when you have, they are very willing to share in the take.
The cutting out that others practice is not only hurtful but can be very damaging, as can be verified by the number of people who are being bullied and winding up committing suicide. There is a lot of that in schools, and around the workplace, it's a horrifying nightmare that has put me at the receiving end too many times for me to count. It's not something that someone asks for, but they get it nonetheless. While others are carelessly going about their tasks of taking you for granted, you can stay in suffering mode on and on and it doesn't stop there. When will people realize that enough is enough? The world doesn't hold certain individuals in high regard. And I hate meeting up with the sludge on the bottom. Never getting the position that I wanted, or not being able to measure up to the social games people play. Even all the ruckus about Lady Gaga, apparently she doesn't tell the truth about her past. She says that she was an outcast but according to what I've been hearing she was very popular in school as well. So people will say anything to give themselves the kind of image that they are vying for. I don't believe a lot of what goes on with people. I find it very frustrating because of the way you dress or hold yourself physically you are already tagged as a beggar, or what have you. That holds true for job interviews. People talk about making it from zero to 50 but I can't seem to break the first interview. And they keep telling me you have to do this and you have to do that. But I'm me and I can't see being made over by anyone, even everyone tries to do that. It just makes you feel more antagonized by their judgements which are made on you Or should I say misjudgements. I think it is very self centered the way some of the musicians and singers have taken control of our lives and made names for themselves at the expense of others. I think that is a strange phenomenon in our culture,and I don't like always being measured by one thing and another. It's not me and I don't want to be forced to live up to something that isn't giving me any personal benefit.
But it's true that I have been dragged through the mud repeatedly and not given air to come back up with. I don't want to lay on the ground with dogs, but it seems that only the beasts of the world are able to write their own tickets. They just keep on doing it to the rest of us, and we just keep on having to accept what they are dishing out and take it all in. I'm tired of swallowing things that I can't swallow, but they find me any way. It's been a long hard road and I'm not out of the dark yet. It's a frustrating way to live, always being tagged for one thing or another, and it seems to give them great pleasure to boot.
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